Stephanie O'Leary, Psy.D.
  • About
  • Blog
  • BOOK
  • Resources
    • Guided Exercise: A Walk Down Memory Lane (Chapter 6)
    • Guided Exercise: Into The Future (Chapter 6)
  • In the Press
  • SCHEDULE YOUR CONSULT NOW

The 5 Secrets of Getting Kids to Listen

7/16/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture

Are you ever frustrated because you have to repeat yourself dozens of times to get your child or teen to do something simple?

Would your life be much easier if your kids would listen the first time, and possibly even follow through?

Welcome to parenthood!

But, don't despair. There are some simple tweaks you can make that will help your kids open their ears, hear what you're saying, and respond respectfully.


Here's your Plan:

1. Decide exactly what you want your child to do.

Under normal circumstance, this step may be easy. Requests like pick up your shoes, get in the car, and put your iPad down come to mind. But,
if you're frustrated or overwhelmed, it may be harder to pinpoint your goal. Think walking into a huge and unexpected mess or realizing that you're entire family is late for an important event and you need action.

Being crystal clear in your own mind about what you want your child to do sets the stage for success.


2. Be brief and direct. 
Instead of shouting your child's name repeatedly or making general statements like, "Please just listen!" send clear, concise messages.

You don't have to bark like a drill sergeant, but keeping your request short and sweet helps. All those extraneous words and explanations can distract your child from the most important detail: What they need to be doing.

3. Add a time-frame for motivation.

Has your child ever said something along the lines of, "I'll do it in a minute," and then not follow through? Well, you're not alone. It's temping to put off a task, especially one that's not fun or exciting, and if there's never a consequence kids and teens can fall into the habit of procrastinating and dismissing what you're asking.

To avoid this, put a time-frame on your request so your child knows he or she is expected to follow through in five minutes, before dinner, or before he or she is able to get on their phone again.


4. Follow through.
You're always in the spotlight as a parent and your kids are watching your every move, even when it seems as if they're actively ignoring you. So, the more consistent you are in following through with the plan you laid out, the more consistent your child or teen will be at following through on their end of the bargain.

This means if you say your child has to put away his clothes before using his iPad, you have to be willing to hold the iPad until you're sure the task is completed.


5. Know that it's okay for your child to be temporarily upset.
If you're stepping up your parenting game and expecting a bit more follow through from your child, it's only natural for there to be growing pains.
Anticipating that your child may be temporarily upset or frustrated will help you remain calm and confident.

Keep in mind that your child's momentary distress is fleeting, and it's for a good cause since the long-term goal of improving listening and respect is an invaluable life skill.


JOIN Dr. Stephanie on Facebook LIVE for weekly Parenting Q&A sessions.
CLICK HERE,
LIKE the page...
Get parenting tips that work in the real world!

Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    FREE TIPS!
    BOOK INFO
    Picture
    Picture

    Stephanie O'Leary, Psy.D.

    Sharing practical  strategies that help parents rediscover joy in their children (even when someone's crying, the phone is ringing, and it smells like the house may be burning down)

    Archives

    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    September 2015
    April 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Contact

Copyright © 2015
  • About
  • Blog
  • BOOK
  • Resources
    • Guided Exercise: A Walk Down Memory Lane (Chapter 6)
    • Guided Exercise: Into The Future (Chapter 6)
  • In the Press
  • SCHEDULE YOUR CONSULT NOW