Scenario one: It’s about 45-minutes after I had planned to have dinner on the table. Homework is supposedly being done, but I’m not really on top of that because there are three other things I’m trying to juggle while coordinating the re-heating of things I’m hoping my kids will actually ingest. Suddenly, I hear laughter from the other room—but not the kind that makes me feel warm and fuzzy. The kind that alerts me to the fact that within seconds, things will devolve, tears will be flowing, and I will be refereeing while trying to make sure my attempt at dinner doesn’t burn the house down. Scenario two: I’m exhausted. I’m actually in bed (win!), and I think everyone else is too. I’m wrong, and I hear footsteps—emotionally charged footsteps approaching my bedroom door. A child appears. A crying, distressed child who is over-tired and spilling all sorts of worries about things I can hardly make sense of. My instinct in both cases is to do whatever I can to get my child to calm down. Whether I want to scream it loud enough to stop my kids in their tracks or insist it repeatedly while wiping away tears, I just want everything to calm down. If you’ve ever found yourself wandering through similar parenting territory, whether it’s your child’s excitement inching toward hysteria, frustration building toward a melt-down, or despair quickly devolving into desperation, here are the two things you need to know to move things in a calmer direction. Don’t Say “Calm Down” (unless you're saying it to yourself)
Surrender to the Chaos
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Stephanie O'Leary, Psy.D.
Sharing practical strategies that help parents rediscover joy in their children (even when someone's crying, the phone is ringing, and it smells like the house may be burning down) Archives
October 2017
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